Today: lunch/breakfast with the wonderful Megan Crespel at the West Cornish Pasty Company in Winchester town. They do the world’s greatest pasties, and the upstairs is decorated with kitch ornaments, antiques and posters of the Cornish lifestyle. What a great mix. And then on to the Christmas market, where they have decorations and grottos, and an ice rink. I know what I’m getting the Clique for Christmas now!!


And after chocolate inspired revelation I have decided that I need to sort myself out. That fickle sweep of anxiety and self-loathing that overcomes me at the most ridiculous of moments is hitting me hard this festive season. It takes me by surprise with all the spontaneity of the boyfriend that never quite worked out, with none of the comfort but more passion and familiarity; and that same dull thud of panic at the thought of exposing myself to it, the badly seeded idea that things might be better if I was that much thinner, that much less like me.

Today I also put some of my work on my wall, the work I did in first year art when I was actually good at all that jazz. I think it adds a little something.




I also think that the thing I have liked the least about uni this year it the lack of freedom in what we create, since all of the projects are given out with a set title. I miss the freedom of self expression and the chance to link my projects to things that actually interest me, as the other subjects are allowed, or in fact encouraged, to do. I know that next year things will pick up, and I’ll be studying the pathway that I really want to pursue, but until then I'm just a little uninspired, a little held back.


Right now I'm listening to the T.C. – Evolution album, which is possibly one of the best pieces of dub-step that I have heard all year. I downloaded it a while ago but hadn’t got around to playing it. I first heard the song “Where’s My Money” during the summer on the Zane Lowe Show, Radio 1, and was hooked straight away. I miss having a radio. No more new music for a few more days. On the plus side I'm probably less irritating to be around, with less recommendations that people don’t love quite so much as me.

First Post

Well, this is new. I’ve been informed by my excellent university teachers that blogging is an essential tool in the industry. So here I am.

So, what has inspired me today? Mainly the most emotive and obviously best song in the world, Alkaline Trio – Radio. Having been a right little scene kid in my youth, I was obsessed with this song for months, but then grew up and moved on, leaving musical taste behind. But I found the album whilst flying the metaphorical nest into university accommodation and it reawakened the befringed and heavily eyelinered inner self. Possibly a bad move? But not the worst. I love the raw feeling in the lyrics, in his voice, the peace in the guitars, the way the drums punctuate his words. I was lying in bed last night, playing it on repeat, at half three in the morning when the girl in the room next door had the tv on full volume, shouting at her boyfriend and running up and down the stairs.

How am I finding uni so far? Well, its fun living away from home and meeting new people, but there are things from home that I miss. I miss the bus ride to college when you can put your generic mp3 player on to drown out the people and watch Gosport fly past the window. I miss sitting on the mound down Hill Head beach with only my dog for company to stare at the pathetic phalicy of the sea, always the right weather no matter how I'm feeling. I miss my bath and the laughter and complaining from my family and whichever aunt or uncle that has decided to call round. But most of all I miss my friends, the clique. Nothing in the world compares to those people that know that nothing beats apple crumble and that the backs of people’s heads where the ears and neck join on make my want to throw up. The people that call round just because they happened to be walking past, and who share my love of crap jokes and stand up comedy. The ones who know that something’s wrong just by looking at me, and get it that sometimes I just like to be alone and are willing to wait until I’m ready to talk about it. They keep me sane and I love them for it.